Someone asked me the other day if there was anything I wish I knew before I had my baby. After telling him I could write a book on that topic – and if you compiled all my conversations into blogposts, I already have – I narrowed it down to a few things.
The cleaning. Dear God, the cleaning!! I had no idea how much time and energy I would spend cleaning up after my child. And we’re not just talking changing diapers and picking up toys. Oh, no. The day might bring a spilled bottle of maple syrup or a blender explosion in the kitchen, a sippy-cup malfunction in the family room, a dog-shredded diaper in the baby’s room, and a bathtub tsunami. Not to mention the laundry. Spit-up stained sleepers, and peed-on sheets are just the beginning.
It seems like not that long ago I lived in a 1-bedroom apartment and used the same plate and fork at each meal. I vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom maybe once every week or 2. (Did I even own a vacuum?) I did one load of laundry a month! And if I put something away, it stayed there. If you can imagine.
And thank goodness someone finally put into words what I’ve always thought about cleaning ladies. If you’re lucky enough to have cleaning help once a week or even twice a month, that’s not a free pass, people. It’s not like you have Alice from “The Brady Bunch” living with you, points out Claudine Wolk, author of “It Gets Easier… And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers.” It’s simply what I like to call DAMAGE CONTROL. The daily messes and stresses? They’re still on you.
The 24/7, 365 responsibility. OK, maybe intellectually you knew this was the deal. But did you really think through exactly what this meant? That you’d be restricted to drive-thrus, unless you want to schlep the baby carrier in and out of the car just to grab your Starbucks and your sandwhich?
That unless you’re lucky enough to live near family (Thank God I do now!!!) you will have to pay someone to watch your child EVERY SINGLE TIME you want to go out , go to a yoga class, go to the store, and possibly even clean your house without someone screaming or getting underfoot?
That you don’t get sick days, holidays, vacation time, or personal days? That you may never again sleep in on weekends? (At least till your kids are teenagers.) I’m telling you, people, it takes some getting used to. Even now, I’m still disappointed when 5 p.m. on Friday comes … and I realize it means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Happy hour is a distant memory…
The low tolerance and defense mechanism; and this only applies to people who give the most absurd advice, make inconsiderate comments (about your baby’s complexion or hair texture), create dillusional excuses for why your baby cries when they try to hold your baby, accuse you of spoiling (being a mother) to your child……and just simply have nothing encouraging, uplifting or resourceful to say---and these individuals may or may not have children and for those who do, its been well over ten years since they pushed a baby out… and somehow they seem to have forgotten that they, too, at one point, could care less what anybody thought or said about their journey into ‘mommy-hood’…they just enjoyed it!
I had not nearly expected to be defending my baby or my ‘new’ parenting skills half as much time as I spend on enjoying being a mom and loving on my baby….geesh! So my tolerance is almost non existent when I encounter experiences like such and I have become the lion protecting her cub….guarding and filtering any unwanted energy…..that’s my role for life. And I gladly accept the position.
The unparalleled joy. I’ve always loved kids. And yet I still hadn’t the faintest clue what it was going to be like to meet a tiny, brand-new person that was a ‘mini-me’. How I would feel when she reached for MY finger and would only be soothed by ME. How my heart would soar when she slept peacefully, ate well, burped, gained weight, had poopy diapers, even!
Moms love to trade horror stories and vent about the hard work and frustrations that go along with raising kids. I know I do! So before you have them you might wonder, “Why put yourself through that?” and “Is it worth it?” The answer is yes. YES!! A thousand, billion, trillion times YES. Why?
A billion, trillion different reasons. Because babies have senses of humor. More than many adults I know. And because they unconditionally love you, with the sloppy kisses and sticky hugs to prove it. And because they’re so very entertaining. And because of moments like this:
The cleaning. Dear God, the cleaning!! I had no idea how much time and energy I would spend cleaning up after my child. And we’re not just talking changing diapers and picking up toys. Oh, no. The day might bring a spilled bottle of maple syrup or a blender explosion in the kitchen, a sippy-cup malfunction in the family room, a dog-shredded diaper in the baby’s room, and a bathtub tsunami. Not to mention the laundry. Spit-up stained sleepers, and peed-on sheets are just the beginning.
It seems like not that long ago I lived in a 1-bedroom apartment and used the same plate and fork at each meal. I vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom maybe once every week or 2. (Did I even own a vacuum?) I did one load of laundry a month! And if I put something away, it stayed there. If you can imagine.
And thank goodness someone finally put into words what I’ve always thought about cleaning ladies. If you’re lucky enough to have cleaning help once a week or even twice a month, that’s not a free pass, people. It’s not like you have Alice from “The Brady Bunch” living with you, points out Claudine Wolk, author of “It Gets Easier… And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers.” It’s simply what I like to call DAMAGE CONTROL. The daily messes and stresses? They’re still on you.
The 24/7, 365 responsibility. OK, maybe intellectually you knew this was the deal. But did you really think through exactly what this meant? That you’d be restricted to drive-thrus, unless you want to schlep the baby carrier in and out of the car just to grab your Starbucks and your sandwhich?
That unless you’re lucky enough to live near family (Thank God I do now!!!) you will have to pay someone to watch your child EVERY SINGLE TIME you want to go out , go to a yoga class, go to the store, and possibly even clean your house without someone screaming or getting underfoot?
That you don’t get sick days, holidays, vacation time, or personal days? That you may never again sleep in on weekends? (At least till your kids are teenagers.) I’m telling you, people, it takes some getting used to. Even now, I’m still disappointed when 5 p.m. on Friday comes … and I realize it means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Happy hour is a distant memory…
The low tolerance and defense mechanism; and this only applies to people who give the most absurd advice, make inconsiderate comments (about your baby’s complexion or hair texture), create dillusional excuses for why your baby cries when they try to hold your baby, accuse you of spoiling (being a mother) to your child……and just simply have nothing encouraging, uplifting or resourceful to say---and these individuals may or may not have children and for those who do, its been well over ten years since they pushed a baby out… and somehow they seem to have forgotten that they, too, at one point, could care less what anybody thought or said about their journey into ‘mommy-hood’…they just enjoyed it!
I had not nearly expected to be defending my baby or my ‘new’ parenting skills half as much time as I spend on enjoying being a mom and loving on my baby….geesh! So my tolerance is almost non existent when I encounter experiences like such and I have become the lion protecting her cub….guarding and filtering any unwanted energy…..that’s my role for life. And I gladly accept the position.
The unparalleled joy. I’ve always loved kids. And yet I still hadn’t the faintest clue what it was going to be like to meet a tiny, brand-new person that was a ‘mini-me’. How I would feel when she reached for MY finger and would only be soothed by ME. How my heart would soar when she slept peacefully, ate well, burped, gained weight, had poopy diapers, even!
Moms love to trade horror stories and vent about the hard work and frustrations that go along with raising kids. I know I do! So before you have them you might wonder, “Why put yourself through that?” and “Is it worth it?” The answer is yes. YES!! A thousand, billion, trillion times YES. Why?
A billion, trillion different reasons. Because babies have senses of humor. More than many adults I know. And because they unconditionally love you, with the sloppy kisses and sticky hugs to prove it. And because they’re so very entertaining. And because of moments like this:
